Boyfriend forces girlfriend to move out of their house every 2-3 weeks when his teenage children visit because they don't know she exists: 'I have to make it look like I do not even live there.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 22, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

There comes a point in many relationships where you realize you have to stop tolerating craziness. You might love someone with all your heart and want to stay with them for the rest of your life, but if they insist on insane living arrangements to maintain dysfunctional situations, you might need to issue an ultimatum. That includes, but is not limited to, letting their adult son live in their basement rent-free without any indication that he's going to get a job anytime soon, insisting that you only eat at Bubba Gump's on date nights, and forcing you to abandon all of your friends because they will miss you too much if you go on a girl's trip. None of these situations should be tolerated; any person who allows their partner to walk all over them like this lacks self-respect. If that's your vibe, you should look at the man in the mirror and figure out why you're this way.

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  • Woman standing in door frame
    via Ryan Antooa

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The girlfriend in this story desperately needs to stand up. She owns a house with her boyfriend, which is already not the best idea since they're not married. Her name is on the deed, and yet she lets her boyfriend kick her out whenever his kids come over because he doesn't want them to know she exists. He has teenage children with another woman, and according to him, the courts won't allow him to introduce his new girlfriend to his children. If his girlfriend believes that, she might just be as dumb as rocks.

  • Am I the bad guy if I leave the relationship because my partner expects me to move out every 2 weeks?

    My partner has children (teens) who visit every other weekend. They do not currently stay over night, this could change due to an upcoming court date.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • We have a house together that we own. Partner has not told the children about me. We didn't meet until after they split up. We have been together a couple of years now.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • Every time the children visit, I have to leave the property, not only that I have to make it look like I do not even live there, I have to hide my possessions. Where we live I do not have any friends locally or family. This means driving 2-3 hours one way to get to a family or friends house.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • There is an upcoming court date where the children may possibly be granted access to stay over (when and how many times per week I do not know until it happens).
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • This leaves me in a difficult position, if it is midweek I truly have nowhere to go. I need to stay within my local area as I work a community based job and need to be available Monday - Friday for any urgent alongside my work. Even if it is the weekends | would still not be able to access my own home for the duration the children are there.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • White house surrounded by autumnal trees
    via Phil Hearing

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Partner says they will do it eventually I have been doing this for the last few months and it is taking a toll on my finances and my health. I have spoke to partner and said this is not viable or fair on me, partner has to come up with solutions, even more so if the children stay over midweek or the whole weekend Friday Monday morning.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • Partner tells me they have no solutions. Partner does not even offer money for the extra fuel, this is being put on my credit card.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • Gas pump refueling car tank
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I cannot afford to rent a property on my income (apprentice income), I would have to move back into my parents and find a new job, leaving my apprenticeship and not gaining a qualification.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • WIBTAH If I told partner I was ending it because this is having too much of an impact on my physical, emotional and mental wellbeing?
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • Key-Phone-3648 Why the heck can't you stay in the house when the kids are there? Honestly this is massively unfair to you. If I were you, I would end it and force sale on the house. NTA
    via u/Key-Phone-3648
  • folhinha-verde He is a liar. He lies to his children and is probably doing the same to you
    via u/folhinha-verde
  • Fluffy_Army8320 OP Partner doesn't want the children to know about me. Ex refused all contact for the last couple of years. It went through court to gain access. This is the current arrangement and has been for the last couple of months.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • I guess not to upset the ex and contact goes back to being refused. Apart from that I don't have an answer, I have known about the children since day 1 of us meeting.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • Alarmed-Speaker-8330 This doesn't even make sense. No court is going to disallow visitation because hubby has a live in gf. Unless, you're a felon or a offender. This guy is yanking your chain. He's also created quite a mess with this lie. How will he ever introduce you now? Remember, lying is bad. Let him buy you out of the house and run.
    via u/Alarmed-Speaker-8330
  • Fluffy_Army8320 OP I have to pass police checks for my job, so I am clear. Partners parents have said they aren't going to lie if the children find anything or ask, even they know they'll be some impact of partner lying to the children. Partners parents are on my side 100%. Honestly I have no idea.
    via u/Fluffy_Army8320
  • iridescentsyrup Honey, he's LYING RIGHT NOW.
    via u/iridescentsyrup
  • ForeverMoody2 If it's your house, he can't make you leave. Pretend a friend is telling you she is doing everything thing you are doing. What would you say to her? Step back and look at it, because this is crazy.
    via u/ForeverMoody2
  • Aliceln Reverse I work in family law. Many court orders expressly prevent children meeting a new relationship partner until they've been together 6 months. Most have phased out the not living together before marriage part.
    via u/AlicelnReverse
  • Your partner is choosing this. He has the court on his side. This could be litigated NOW as he has been in court, and just get this over with. He is demonstrating that he is not willing to stand up for you in this relationship. Whatever the true reason, legality is an excuse. If the ex continues withholding, he could end up with majority custody
    via u/AlicelnReverse
  • There is a very large elephant under your rug that your husband is expecting you to simply ignore. Personally, I simply wouldn't leave. He can get a hotel with the kids somewhere and call it a vacation. This is your home
    via u/AlicelnReverse
  • DotSuspicious4925 Girl. Have some freaking dignity!!!!!!!
    via u/DotSuspicious4925
  • gringaellie NTA but you're an idiot to have bought with a man who thinks you're a dirty secret
    via u/gringaellie

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